Tears on my Birthday
Yesterday was my birthday. Now I'm not typically the type who dreads birthdays or who is ashamed of my age. I'm 35 now and darn it, that's a pretty good age to be.
On top of that I had started the week off in a fantabulous mood. Things are going great business wise and at work. Hubby has a new job and things are looking up.
And yet, despite getting two cakes...I was on the verge of tears, if not fully engulfed in tears, throughout most of the day.
This is so not me! It's not my style at all. I am not a whiny, woe is me type person who cries at the drop of a hat. But I was yesterday.
I was reminded early on in the day through a facebook posting that this is the first year that my mom is not here. It was said with the absolute best of intentions and not meant to be snarky or to hurt me at all. I dissolved into a mess of tears anyway.
I don't have a clue why that affected me so much. I've known she's been gone since August. I spent the month of September in a dark mood. I thought it had lifted that I was out of the woods.
And then BAM! Hit me like a ton of bricks on my birthday of all days!
It didn't help that the cake they bought me at work was themed "Older than Dirt". I know it was all in good fun, because the staff is all so much younger than I am.
I don't think I let on that my feelings were slightly hurt that I didn't get a cake that had a hunk on a bearskin rug like the other girls that had birthdays earlier. I guess I do come across as a fuddy duddy and not much fun to be around.
When did I turn into such a sensitive wuss?
When will the old me return? I do hope it's soon.
Meanwhile, I did have some fun at the WAHExpo, Kelly McCausey's presentation on personality was amazing and the publicity talk by Shannon Cherry was solid and well delivered. I didn't win any prizes, but maybe that means the iPod will be mine? I can always hope.
It's gotta get better sometime. Today would be good.
On top of that I had started the week off in a fantabulous mood. Things are going great business wise and at work. Hubby has a new job and things are looking up.
And yet, despite getting two cakes...I was on the verge of tears, if not fully engulfed in tears, throughout most of the day.
This is so not me! It's not my style at all. I am not a whiny, woe is me type person who cries at the drop of a hat. But I was yesterday.
I was reminded early on in the day through a facebook posting that this is the first year that my mom is not here. It was said with the absolute best of intentions and not meant to be snarky or to hurt me at all. I dissolved into a mess of tears anyway.
I don't have a clue why that affected me so much. I've known she's been gone since August. I spent the month of September in a dark mood. I thought it had lifted that I was out of the woods.
And then BAM! Hit me like a ton of bricks on my birthday of all days!
It didn't help that the cake they bought me at work was themed "Older than Dirt". I know it was all in good fun, because the staff is all so much younger than I am.
I don't think I let on that my feelings were slightly hurt that I didn't get a cake that had a hunk on a bearskin rug like the other girls that had birthdays earlier. I guess I do come across as a fuddy duddy and not much fun to be around.
When did I turn into such a sensitive wuss?
When will the old me return? I do hope it's soon.
Meanwhile, I did have some fun at the WAHExpo, Kelly McCausey's presentation on personality was amazing and the publicity talk by Shannon Cherry was solid and well delivered. I didn't win any prizes, but maybe that means the iPod will be mine? I can always hope.
It's gotta get better sometime. Today would be good.
posted by Patrysha at 6:42 AM
2 Comments:
Awww... first of all Happy Birthday Belated! Second, I'd be a mess if I lost my mom. Third, I'm not far behind you on the older than dirt cake. And last, it's your party... cry if you want to! ;-)
I hope you feel better soon.
It think it's rude to give people mean gifts on their birthday and an 'older than dirt' cake is just plain inappropriate for a 35 year old. Your co-workers need a swat upside the head!
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